Cruel to be kind
by NiceCupOfTea
Summary: "You need to know that it wasn't just for me. Sometimes we need to be cruel to be kind." Finland just couldn't shake Russia's words out of his head. RusFin, hint of SuFin.


**Title:** Cruel to be kind

**Author:** NiceCupOfTea

**Pairing:** Russia x Finland (and hint of SuFin)

**Summary: ** "You need to know that it wasn't just for me. Sometimes we need to be cruel to be kind." Finland just couldn't shake Russia's words out of his head.

**Disclaimer:** Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya. *sob*

**A/N: **First of all I would like to apologise all grammar mistakes you might find - English is not my first language. Second, reviews are love so I hope that you would leave one after you are finished. Please let me know what you think : ) Third, the idea of this story became when I listened Sonata Arctica's song Shamandalie. There's that one line that wouldn't leave me alone... Listen the song and you know ; ) Now, off you go and read!

Sometimes he put both of his large hands around Tino's cheeks so he couldn't look away. When two pair of violet eyes met Ivan would say the words that would long echo in Finland's mind.

"You need to know that it wasn't just for me. Sometimes we need to be cruel to be kind."

Ivan would smile the usual sweet smile of his and leave Tino after these words. Finland hated how he could not shake what had been said out of his head. Like snakes those words would slither through his mind and find a place to stay where he couldn't reach them. No matter how many bottle he drank, no matter how drunk he got the words didn't agree to scatter.

What angered him the most was that Russia was right.

Yes, he had taken Tino away from Berwald and the life he had been content.

But.

If he would have the chance to go back at the way things were, he knew he wouldn't be satisfied anymore. He had the very first breath of freedom and it tasted better than anything he had before.

This conclusion usually made him drink even more, because it felt like betrayal against Berwald and his kindness.

When Tino first moved to Russia it was easy to blame Ivan of any hardship he would have to face. Now he was actually grateful? To that intimidating 'kolkolkkol' bastard? To that home breaker? To that man who was the first one ever letting him have his own house and rules?

After night like these when Tino would practically lose his mind while thinking these kinds of thoughts, a loud yell (that sounded very much like "perkele") would be heard from a small house on Russia's backyard.

One night when they were sitting in Finland's home and drinking sweet russian tea, Tino glanced at Ivan before sighting heavily.

"You were right."

"I usually am, but in what this time?"

Tino continued like he hadn't heard what his companion just said and started to circulate his teacup in his hands.

"I hate to admit it, but this time you were actually right."

Ah, this topic. Russia leaned a little further on his chair and felt how his lips widened to a smile. Coming from Tino, this was a really rare treat. He sure was going to enjoy this.

"I see now, that sometimes even kindness can be cruelty. It just amazes me that from of all people it needed to be you to show me that. "

EXTRA

Nights in Russia were heavy and dark at the winter. Just like in Finland. The sky was inky blue and the stars looked like tiny silver dots. All and all is was like a wonderful fabric that had been rolled open on the sky. Sewed in the middle of all that beauty, the Moon was like a big white button.

Tino watched how his breath made pale, steamy clouds that took their time to scatter on the night sky. All this made him feel nostalgic. He had seen countless nights like these in his long, long life and this could easily be one from a hundred year ago. Or even thousand. The sky was as blue as it had been then, the Moon as beautiful and the unspeakable gratefulness to be alive was there as well.

"There is no word for this."

Tino smiled but didn't turn. He knew that the taller nation was feeling exactly like him. No human could see the years behind and years ahead of them like this when looking at the night sky. Only another nation could understand.

In the corner of his eye Finland could see how Russia raised both of his hands toward the sky.

"It feels like I'm closer to my old gods when I raise my arms like this." His voice was suddenly thick and this time Tino turned his head.

"They are still there, behind that dark blue sky. I'm sure of that." He said quietly and touched briefly his companions back.

Their eyes met.

And they smiled.

The heavy night was falling like thick clothing over them. The gods were watching.

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